Dark Prospects
by Phobic
Summary: A human comes to the North Pole. Bernard truly can’t stand her. Santa tolerates her. NOT A MARY-SUE. I’m not particularly fond of this fic, but my friend is forcing me to post it under pain of death.
1. Noel

****

Dark Prospects 

Warnings: Possible spoilers for SC1 and 2.

Genre: Romance

Pairings: Bernard/Noel

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

A/N: My first SC fic. Please be nice. 

Chapter 1: Noel 

The entire workshop was dead silent. Anyone would be a bit surprised if a strange Human girl suddenly appeared out of no where in what was supposed to be a strictly secret organization.

Bernard studied her. She was definitely human; her ears were completely round like Santa's. She was very thin as though it had been a matter of weeks since her last meal. She had pale blonde hair all the way down to her knees (he'd never _seen_ hair so long!) and dark blue eyes that were only a few shades from black. The girl wore an odd outfit, consisting of a dark brown, nearly sleeveless, shirt that looked almost like part of a battle suit, long blackish gloves that seemed to match the shirt, black jean shorts, and tall black boots. She had dark circles under her eyes and was overall in horrible condition. 

It had been a moderately normal day in the North Pole when they all heard a loud crash. From the looks on the other elves' faces, Bernard assumed this girl had just appeared, but how could a mere human possibly do something like that? 

The girl shakily got to her feet and it was only then that the Head Elf noticed she was carrying what looked like a heavy duffel bag and thought to help her. Santa beat him to it. Scott rushed over to her and offered to hold the bag, which she hesitated to, but finally let him carry for her. 

Scott nodded at him quickly before leading the girl away, indicating that he follow. Bernard obediently trailed behind them while trying to divert the other elves' attention, which was, of course, a lost cause. 

"Are you all right?" Scott asked worriedly as soon as the three of them were alone in Scott's office. "Who are you? What happened?"

Bernard blinked. He didn't know who she was? Wasn't Santa supposed to know every human child? True, she was more of a young lady than a child—maybe fourteen—but still…

The girl scowled. "I'm fine. I'm called Noel, and I… ended up here somehow. I don't know how." It was odd how she didn't even bother to try and make her lie convincing. 

"Where do you live?" Bernard asked wearily. 

Noel turned to him and shrugged evasively. She stared dully at the floor, her thin layer of bangs falling over her eyes, shielding them from the elf's view. She didn't seem surprised in the least that she was talking to Santa Clause and an elf. That wasn't extremely uncommon among children, but it was almost unheard of for someone her age. Almost.

"That's not an answer." Bernard said flatly, his patience already waning. 

Noel turned on him sharply. "I don't have to answer to _you_."

Scott gave the Head Elf a look and said gently, "Will you please give us some kind of answer?"

She considered him for a moment and decided to comply. "What do you want to know?"

"Why did you come here?" Scott asked. "How did you get here?"

"I told you I don't know." She said mildly. "Any real questions?"

"Where do you live?" Scott repeated Bernard's question. 

Noel shrugged. "Not here."

"Would you be more specific?" Santa's patience never seemed to thin.

"Probably not."

Scott sighed. "Who are your parents?"

"They're dead."

"I'm sorry. Who are your guardians?"

She shrugged vaguely. "Don't be sorry, they brought it on themselves. And I don't have any."

"Well who do you live with then?" Scott questioned, perplexed. 

Noel looked away, clearly meaning she would discuss the subject no further. 

"Would you like to stay here?" Santa asked finally seeing he would get no more out of her at the time. Bernard glanced at his boss incredulously. A human at the North Pole!

The girl glanced at Bernard. When she saw his clearly disapproving look, an unreadable expression flickered across her pointed features. "I don't have anywhere else to be, so I might as well…"


	2. Kill Her

****

Dark Prospects

Disclaimer: Sorry I forgot to put this on chapter 1. I own nothing except Noel, which is really sad since Noel is being an evil psychopath at the moment…

Kanna: Thank you for reviewing! You probably won't like Noel for a while, but you'll find out why she's so irritating later I promise. If it's any consolation, my muse hates her too… She'll get better. *sinister laughter comes from no where in particular* 

MTG: ^_^ Thanks. I'll try not to be one of those people who start fics and then leave them with one or two chapters, but my teachers all hate me and try to kill me with homework so no promises. Sorry.

Criminally Insane: _ Shut up, Amanda. No one cares what you say. And you owe me 20 dollars now.

isadora quagmire: Thanks! If I'm not crushed under the weight of my math homework I will update reasonably fast. 

Chapter 2: Kill Her and Make It Look Like an Accident

Bernard sighed. An entire hour of wishing ill will in Noel's general direction and she hadn't disappeared yet. Why had Santa agreed to let her stay, anyway? She was human! Humans don't just randomly decide to stay at the North Pole. Surely there was some kind of rule against it? What was wrong with just dumping her outside in the snow? No one would care.

And that wasn't an exaggeration. The girl was so horrible to all the elves that most of them just ignored her completely. Unfortunately, she seemed perfectly content with that and showed no signs of wanting to leave. 

Only Judy could stand to be in the same half of the North Pole as her. She was almost sickeningly nice to Noel for reasons Bernard couldn't even begin to fathom. His work had allowed him not to have to see her very often for the last week, but every time he did he had to resist the overwhelming urge to tie her to one of the more churlish polar bears. 

Today she was being particularly annoying. 

"You should eat something. You look like you haven't eaten in a while." Judy said carefully, trying vainly not to provoke her. 

Noel turned to her and glared coldly. "Just because _I_ don't eat every scrap of junk food I can get my hands on, doesn't mean I eat too little." She glanced specifically at some of the more stout elves as she said this.

Judy sighed softly. "All right, but if you'd like something later, just ask me."

"I never said I wasn't hungry. I just said I don't eat too much." Noel replied sourly. 

Forcing herself to smile, Judy asked patiently. "What would you like? We have cookies, cocoa—"

"You have anything less… sweet?" Noel wrinkled her nose in disgust. Today she wore a much nicer outfit that Santa had most likely, borrowed from one of the elves for her. Probably Judy, as the two were roughly the same size. It was dark green and very pretty, but it was slightly too small and showed how starved she really was. Did she eat at all? "Like a piece of bread or something." 

As much as he would have loved to be anywhere else, Bernard really was hungry, having already skipped breakfast in favor of helping out Santa in the wrapping department. "Judy, may I have some cocoa please?" He asked warmly, walking over to the two.

She smiled gratefully at the Head Elf and nodded. "Yes, of course. I'll be right back." She turned and quickly fled the room.

In Judy's absence, Noel turned to him. "How can you stand all that sugar?" Her voice was thick with distaste. 

Bernard considered just ignoring her, but decided against it. "I'm an elf. We like cocoa." He said shortly. 

"Well I think some of that cocoa seeped into your brain rendering you incapable of intelligent thought." She replied. 

"You _think_? Isn't that an oxymoron?" He couldn't help it. She got on his nerves.

What would most likely have been a scathing retort was cut off when Judy reentered the room. She handed each of them what'd they'd asked for and made a rather unbelievable excuse to leave. 

Bernard didn't bother coming up with a lie. He just left.

"She's crazy! And she's trying to take the rest of us down with her. Sir, she can't possibly stay." Bernard came dangerously close to begging. 

Scott sighed. "And what would you have me do, Bernard? Throw her off the sleigh into the Atlantic? Don't answer that." He added, knowing what answer he would receive.

Curtis spoke up. "Sir, I think she's criminally insane. We can't allow her to stay here. She'll steal all the toys and ruin Christmas!"

Santa fixed the younger elf with a look that clearly said something like_, 'You're one to talk with all that "Santa Clone" business last year'_ and sighed. "She hasn't shown any remote interest in stealing toys, and I don't like her any more than the two of you, but since she won't tell us where she lives we have no other choice than to keep her here."

"Do you always make a habit of talking behind people's backs?" Came an icy voice from the door. 

"Do you always make a habit of eavesdropping?" Bernard countered, unabashed.

Noel shrugged. "I never regret it."

Bernard sighed. This girl would be the death of him.

~

A/N: The first few chapters are really boring, but I need to make Bernard REALLY hate Noel before the rest of the story can happen. L Sorry. 

Noel is extremely two-dimensional at the moment and she probably will be for a while, but not forever. She is really terrible too, but she has a good reason, which you'll all find out later when she's not just an irritating human anymore.


	3. Charlie

****

Dark Prospects

A/N: Nobody listen to my best friend Amanda (Criminally Insane) who will review every chapter saying bad things about me. She is crazy and should be locked up. Not to mention she's a total deadbeat. Or else she's just a greedy pig… You rock Amanda! Lol.

MTG: Really? My older brother use to act like that, but Noel isn't modeled after him. That'd just be weird… *cringes* Thanks for the review. 

Criminally Insane: Go crawl under a rock somewhere. No one likes you. And what exactly do you mean you're not giving me 20 dollars? 

Sanely Challenged: Thanks, that's a really nice review. ^_^ Yes, I really can't stand Mary Sues, so it would be horrible if my story had one in it. 

Chapter 3: Charlie

"Charlie!" Santa exclaimed as his son appeared in his office. "How'd you get here?" 

The boy pointed to a gap in his mouth where a tooth had once been. "I know you said not to, but Mom and Neil are in this huge fight that started over a sweater. It's really annoying."

"Great to see you, Sport," Bernard said happily. "Santa, surely you don't want poor Charlie's impressionable young mind to be subjected to—" 

"We're not dumping her into the ocean, Bernard, and that's final." Scott stated firmly.

Charlie furrowed his brow. "Who?"

Scott turned to him. "This girl showed up at the workshop a week ago and she's been staying here—" he failed to notice the violent gestures Bernard was making behind his back "—You will probably want to observe her from a distance."

"Or not at all." Bernard suggested helpfully. 

Charlie had to laugh at the elf's antics, as it was uncommon for him to get so annoyed with an individual. He'd have to meet this girl.

Bernard probably would have rather eaten one of the reindeer than introduced Charlie to Noel and he was sure Santa had given him the task for exactly this reason. 

The girl was again talking—or, more accurately, communicating—with Judy. They were seated on a couch near the clothing department. The latter didn't look very comfortable, but, ever polite, she continued to talk. She smiled widely when Bernard and Charlie came over. "Charlie! It's wonderful to see you again!"

Charlie grinned and nodded at her. "You too."

"Well," Bernard cut off any further reunion. "Charlie, this is Noel. Noel—"

"Wait. Don't tell me! It's Charlie." Noel said sarcastically. But she was looking at the 15-year-old very oddly. It was a look neither of the elves had seen on her before, but it wasn't fondness. Bernard couldn't quite place it, but it gave him the odd desire to hire Charlie as a body guard against her.

"How could you guess?" Bernard deadpanned. 

Noel shrugged. "Just a thought."

"I thought we've been over the fact that you _don't_ think." Bernard retaliated. 

He wasn't quite prepared for the water that suddenly splashed in his face. He winced and wiped it out of his eyes only to see Noel sitting exactly where she'd been with a smug expression. 

Charlie and Judy both looked like they were torn between laughter and grimaces.

"You know one day soon I'll convince Santa to just toss you out into the snow." He said seriously. 

"I can hardly contain my worry." She didn't look even remotely concerned by the threat.

The soaked elf stormed off angrily and thanked everything good in the world that Noel didn't like hot cocoa. 

Over the next few days Bernard noticed something about Noel. She seemed to hate Charlie even more than him, but differently. When she said cruel things to Bernard, he could see pure venom in her cold, blue eyes. But when she looked at Charlie there was something else there, something besides a deep-rooted hatred. 

Charlie, for his part, handled her very well. He put up with her snide comments and just shrugged or played dumb when she was sarcastic. It seemed to drive her insane, which was a positive point for Bernard at least. 

And for almost exactly three days, it had worked. But of course, nothing good can ever last for long.

"No, I'm not eating that. You know cookies make you fat and diabetic, but then with your father being Santa Clause I suppose that's inevitable, really." Noel remarked.

"Shut up." Bernard and Judy both turned to Charlie, as it was highly uncharacteristic of him to say anything like that to the pale blond. 

She'd hit a nerve, and she knew it. She smirked haughtily. "You know, I heard from the other elves that you were on the naughty list last year and your dad completely hated you. Considered disowning you, they said."

Charlie looked her dead in the eyes. "I'm serious. If you don't shut up right this second I will personally make sure you live to regret it."

Noel was silent. 

"Charlie, she's lying. You're dad would never do that," Bernard tried to calm him.

But Charlie would have none of it. He got up and walked out of the room. 

A/N: Another boring chapter. Sorry, but this chapter is very important later in the fic. This is NOT a Charlie/Noel fic; they won't ever get together even though this chapter might suggest that. Just wanted to clear that up.

Also, should I put Mrs. Clause in this? She might not come in for a few chapters, but it's set after SC2 so technically she should be around. There just hasn't been anywhere to put her in yet. 

Again, if there are any spelling or grammar errors in this please tell me. As I said before, English isn't my first language so I imagine there are some. 


	4. Mars?

****

Dark Prospects

A/N: Ok, everyone wants Mrs. Clause so I will TRY to put her in somewhere. Can't promise anything though, my muse is very irritating (worse than Noel if you'll believe that…).

Tragedy Ann: Noel does get better later (no really, she does…) Yes, everyone seems to love Noel getting yelled at. I can't imagine why… *thinks about this* Well anyway, thanks for reviewing.

TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan: Thanks. And I completely agree with you that we should bother ff.net with emails until they're coming out their ears and they finally listen. ^_^ I will definitely read your fic, but it will have to be tomorrow because all my teachers are plotting against us poor defenseless students, trying to kill us with homework. 

Ace-of-Spades: Thank you. It's always nice to know that someone actually likes what I write.

Sanely Challenged: Me? Tricksy? Mwahah—*cough* I mean—you've got to be kidding… *nervous laughter*

Akiko, Keeper of Sheep: Thanks. I'm glad I'm not a complete disaster and grammar/spelling (like my teacher is so fond of telling me. *grumbles*).

Bernard: Well I wasn't going to (I'm sure), but if you absolutely insist, I will continue with the torture.

GriffinFox: For some strange reason, everyone seems to want to strangle Noel… She does have a reason she's so bitter though, and it's—*muse walks in and strangles Phobic*—it's something I apparently can't tell you yet… Thanks for the review. 

Criminally Insane: Guess who's at the bottom of my review list? Oh look! It's you. If you don't pay me in two days I'll tell my brother what REALLY happened to his favorite hat. And don't think I won't Manda!

Please tell me if I missed anyone. And I hope you're all happy because I wrote this during math class JUST to get it up. And I was rushed so there might be some errors, sorry.

Chapter 4: The Girl From Mars

After another week or so had passed, Noel began to warm up to the other elves. Well, sort of. She spoke civilly to Judy and cut back slightly on the sarcastic comments to Curtis, but to Bernard she was still awful. And the elf was sure she knew exactly what she was doing too. She was weakening his group of allies. The sweeter she was to them (though he found it extremely difficult to think of her as _sweet_), the less they would want to strangle her, leaving Bernard all alone. 

Well at least he had Charlie to back him up, who was still angry at Noel for that day last week. However, instead of seeking him out to be rude to him, the girl avoided Charlie at all costs. It was unusual behavior for her, but fortunate for Bernard, who now spent a large amount of time with the boy. 

A few days ago, Bernard and Charlie had been very amused (to put it lightly) when Noel had somehow managed to get some of her long hair tangled in a sewing machine without her realizing and it had gotten sewed into a sock. The elf at the machine insisted he'd had nothing to do with it, but, then again, that elf had been Curtis (not one to normally work at a sewing machine) so Bernard was inclined to disbelieve him.

Judy had been appalled, of course, that Charlie and Bernard were laughing mercilessly and refused to speak to them for a grand total of two hours. It was definitely a price worth paying, they'd mutually decided, just to see the look on Noel's face.

After that, the girl had been particularly unkind to Bernard when she caught him out side of Charlie's company. Even more so than usual, but it didn't bother him much.

Which led right back to the subject of Charlie. Why would she avoid the other human like that? Did she fear him? The thought was ridiculous, but then it fit so perfectly. Why the girl would fear Charlie on sight was beyond Bernard. He had been moderately nice to her (nicer than Bernard, at any rate…), and he didn't have a dangerous look to him. 

Deciding not to pursue the complex thought any further, Bernard got up from the couch he'd been resting on, planning to go find Charlie to protect him from Noel or Santa to complain about Noel to, whichever came first.

Unfortunately, things almost never go as planned. 

"Hey." Bernard winced as he heard a familiar voice behind him. Noel didn't wait for him to respond. "So why do you wear that barrette everyday? Where _I_ come from only girls wear barrettes."

"And where's that? Mars?" Bernard suggested, though Mars wasn't the first red place he could imagine her living in…

He could almost feel her rolling her eyes. "Yes, Bernard, I come from Mars and I got here when my alien space ship crashed." Her voice thick with sarcasm.

"You must be a really bad driver then," the elf noted.

She glared. "Maybe I wasn't driving my 'UFO'. Maybe I _killed_ the driver because he was as stupid as you are."

"I wouldn't put the intent to kill past you, but really, you're way to small to do any real damage to anyone." Bernard commented.

Without warning, Noel yanked one of his curls harshly. Unprepared, Bernard yelped in pain. It didn't hurt that badly, but that wasn't the point! 

He glared coldly at her. _"What was that for?"_ He demanded. 

Noel kept a straight face, but her eyes were dancing with laughter.

Then she smiled. 

Bernard blinked, but when he opened his eyes Noel was already leaving. What had that been? Did she really have the nerve to smirk at him after she had just tried to rip his hair out? Or had she…? No, that was impossible, wasn't it? Wasn't it? 

He didn't call her back.

A/N: Hello? Anyone still reading? *the sound of crickets* Oh, okay. *walks away sadly* Well you can't expect anything done during math class to be even remotely good, can you? You can? Okay, I'll just go then… 


	5. Curtis?

****

Dark Prospects

MTG: Thanks! You're so much nicer than my English teacher is. One time she made me write 100 times in English that I'm a complete failure. Nice, don't you think? She's really a lovely person… (Do you believe me?)

Angelic One: Thank you. I'll try to finish this fic reasonably fast… *maniacal laughter*

TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan: Finally I read your fic! It was certainly worth my time, it's a great story. ^_^ Sorry it took me a while…

Sanely Challenged: Thank you so much! I can't believe I'm actually on a Favorites list! *dances* YAY!

Criminally Insane: Haven't I told you to go away before? Oh well, I'll say it again. GO AWAY! 

A/N: Okay, the story will actually go some where now. You tell me whether it's a good or bad direction, but a lot is going to happen before the end (surprise? Me? No… why would you say that?).

Chapter 5: Curtis?

Bernard was concerned. As much as he would have loved to, he could not ignore the fact that Noel was acting very oddly; more so than usual. She'd been in a distinctly pensive mood for two days now. What was wrong with her? Even worse, she was always in the same area as he and Charlie were. When questioned, she would rudely sum it up to a coincidence, but Bernard was sure she was stalking one of them. The idea worried him.

"Charlie!" Curtis came up to the pair one day. Santa needs to talks to you—" he glanced pointedly at Bernard "—alone. He said it's important. You'll want to come right away."

Charlie shrugged. "Okay. Where is he?" 

"I'll take you to him." The elf offered and started off, motioning for Charlie to follow. 

When Charlie started to walk after the other, someone called him back. "Wait!"

Noel. Bernard was perplexed. He recognized the voice, but not the tone. It was almost… desperate. 

Charlie furrowed his brow. "Why?" 

"I… you—you have to—Curtis is lying! Your dad isn't really that way he's in the kitchen…" She finished lamely. It was so obviously a lie that the other three fought laughter. 

Charlie gave her a shrewd look. "Right. And why exactly should I believe you over Curtis?"

But the girl would not be deterred. "Because I'm right, you moron!" 

Curtis sighed impatiently. "Charlie, come on. Your dad will be worried if we don't come."

Charlie followed Curtis. 

"And really, Noel," the 900-year-old continued. "You keep following them around like some love-sick puppy. What's wrong with you?" And with that, the two walked away.

Noel started to follow them, but Bernard held her back, having to physically restrain her. 

"Let go of me!" Noel demanded, trying to get out of his grip on her wrist. 

"What's with you? You've been acting like a mad woman!" Bernard ignored her order. 

Still struggling, she replied, "I'll tell you later, just let me go!"

"And what would you do? Throw yourself on the floor in front of them? They'll walk right over you, you know. And why don't you want them to go?" Bernard easily held her thin wrist in his hand, despite her best attempts to get free.

Noel was still. "Why don't you let go of my arm and watch what I do? If I get trampled then you'll just have something else to laugh at."

Bernard sighed and released her.

She ran in the direction Charlie had went like all of hell was at her heels. And, for lack of anything better to do, Bernard followed her. 

But eventually she got lost. In her struggle to get free from the elf's grip, she hadn't noticed which way they'd gone. Noel whirled around. "Bernard! You—"

A loud bang cut off what would most likely have been a long string of curse words.

By an unspoken agreement, the two ran in that direction.

Several yards away, the door to a small, bare room was hanging off its hinges. Bits of the metal door were charred and there were black marks all over the room. 

And also covered in black burn marks was Charlie's jacket.

A/N: Okay, I know this chapter is weird and confusing, but it will be explained (really, it will). Mrs. Clause _should_ be in the next chapter, but not for sure. Oh, and Curtis fans don't shoot me just yet, okay?


	6. Explanations

****

Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: I know it's confusing. Hopefully this chapter will explain. Thanks.

Sanely Challenged: Sorry. It lets you review if you don't sign in…

Criminally Insane: Just you wait until Monday. I'll hijack the intercom and tell the whole school you love my brother. And who says it was Kyle anyway?

Chapter 6: Explanations

Bernard stared blankly at the floor. Charlie's jacket there, singed, as though it had been held too close to a fire. But where was the boy? And where was Curtis for that matter?

Noel yelled in frustration. "Bernard! This is all _your_ fault!" She gave him a look that should have killed him. 

"What happened?" Carol Clause hurried over to the scene. Admittedly, it looked bad. Bernard and Noel standing in a room that looked like an explosion had just taken place in it, with Charlie's jacket. 

"Oh nothing." Noel said sarcastically. "We were just messing around with explosives and Bernard blew up Charlie. Sorry about that."

Carol blinked. "What?"

Bernard glared at Noel. "Curtis said he wanted to talk to Charlie and Noel went ballistic. Then we heard an explosion and ran over here and…"

He trailed off as Scott came up behind Carol. "What—"

Carol interrupted. "There was an explosion and they both have different stories from there. I don't think I believe either of them."

Bernard was more interested in Noel though. She looked as though she just realized her dog had died. On second thought, that'd probably make her happy. But she was shocked and almost… grieving.

"Noel." He said sharply. "You knew something was going to happen. How?"

Noel looked at him miserably. When she was sure Scott and Carol weren't listening, she said quietly. "We need to talk. There's a lot you need to know."

After making an excuse that they were certain no one believed, Noel and Bernard fled the room, dashing through the crowed of elves that had gathered around them. Noel ran all the way up to her room and the elf followed her into it. 

He didn't even glance at the room, in favor of listening to what she had to say. Though the thought of him caring what she would say scared him beyond all reason. 

"I—you need to know something. But if you ever repeat what I'm about to say I'll steal Santa's slay and run you over with it repeatedly. I swear I will."

"Fine." Bernard said impatiently. "Tell me."

Noel looked uncomfortable for once. "Well—have you ever wondered why I just showed up out of nowhere?" 

"No, I didn't." The elf quipped sarcastically. "Because humans just show up here at random all the time, you know?"

She glared. "Well—I'm not—from here—"

"No really." 

"I mean—I am from here, just not… not now…" She spoke very carefully, as though she were afraid of revealing something potentially dangerous. 

Bernard sighed. "Either tell me what you're talking about or—"

"Bernard!" She sighed. "I'm not from this time."

"What?" He repeated blankly. "Are you trying to tell me you time-traveled, and that's how you mysteriously ended up here?" He continued skeptically.

Noel bit her lip and shoved a lock of long hair behind her ear. "Yes." She looked at him. "You don't believe me." It wasn't a question. 

"Prove it. Prove you're from another time." He demanded.

She winced. "I don't have a lot of time. I'm from the future and I can prove it, but it would be a lot easier if you'd just believe me."

Bernard gave her a look that clearly said he wasn't about to take her word for it. 

Noel sighed. "All right." 

She shoved her hair behind her ears again and closed her eyes. Bernard was confused at first, but then he noticed something. Her face was changing! Her eyebrow became more arched, and her features more drastic. And her ears…

She was an elf.

When Noel opened her eyes, Bernard stared. 

"You're…"

"An elf? Yes. I'm seventeen hundred years old and I'm only half Christmas elf." She looked at him. "Like you must be, judging by your size." 

"How… did you do that?" Bernard finally managed.

Noel sighed again. "I should explain some things about the future, but this has to be fast."

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions!" She snapped. "Okay. The reason I knew what was going to happen to Charlie was that I read about it in history books. You see, in my time Charlie is… different. Just now he was kidnapped. I don't know whom it was, but the person that was posing as Curtis is about to… brainwash him—"

"Brainwash?" Bernard said doubtfully. 

She glared. "I said no questions! In the future we have devices used to control people… It's a form of magic and it's really hard to explain, but basically Charlie won't be acting of his own free will. 

"In my time, everything is different. Whoever took Charlie did _not_ like Christmas elves. They made him capture or kill almost every elf in existence. The humans are in no position to help us either, as a war between seventeen different countries is being fought and with nuclear weapons they have enough problems of their own. Not to mention that most of them don't believe in us anyway. 

"There is much more complicated magic now and the elves that have escaped or weren't caught have learned to disguise themselves as humans to keep their lives. But there are few of us. Humans have put up these machines that take a sample of your blood before they let you enter anywhere. And no amount of magic can change an elf's blood. It can't be done. So we can't get into food stores. There isn't any shelter and we're dying out. 

"But I had an advantage. I was probably the most intelligent of the free elves and I know a lot of magic. I used a dark spell to be sent here so that maybe I could prevent all of this from happening. I didn't count on you stopping me from attacking the fake Curtis." She saw Bernard's look and added, "It wasn't your fault. I should have told you this all before."

A thought struck Bernard. "Wait. If that Curtis wasn't real, then where's Curtis?"

"Santa and Mrs. Clause are looking for him. He lives through this if that's what you mean…"

Bernard nodded.

"Bernard, I need your help. We have to go find Charlie."

To the Charlie lovers: It's not really him being evil in the future, he's being controlled, so please don't throw pointy objects at me. ^_^


	7. Gone

****

Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: Sorry for the lack of updates. My grandpa had a stroke last night and both my parents live in another state so I had to get him to the hospital myself and I was busy. #_#

Lily 23: Sorry! Don't shoot me! *hides behind a rock*

Sanely Challenged: I was right about something? Really? ^_^ Thanks for the review. 

Chapter 7: Gone

"Kidnapped? What do you mean?" Scott asked after Noel had told he and Carol the story (leaving out the part about Charlie being controlled by an elf-hating psychopath).

She rolled her eyes. "It means to seize and detain unlawfully. Read the dictionary. That's what happened to Charlie. It really isn't that difficult to figure out."

"You know, being annoying isn't going to help us get Charlie back." Bernard pointed out.

"You know," Noel mimicked, "I don't recall asking for your opinion."

"Short term memory is the first to go," he reminded her.

She whirled around. "Will you shut up for two whole seconds?" 

He gave an exasperated sigh. "Well then _do something_! By the time we're done arguing it will be too late!" 

Scott cut off the two bickering elves. "What makes you think we can save Charlie now?" The question was directed at Noel.

Noel looked troubled for a moment, but the look vanished quickly. "Because I know where he is."

"Where?" Carol asked.

Noel glared. "I was getting to that! Well Charlie in my time lived in this—this mansion in the human world. It's the largest thing around for miles. You can't miss it. He told me one time that that is where he was kept when he was young. That has to be where Charlie is now."

"You're well aquatinted with Charlie?" Bernard asked, surprised. Why would a person who wanted to kill all Christmas elves talk civilly to her? It didn't make sense.

"You could say that." Came a cold voice from behind all of them. 

Noel froze, and then slowly turned around. "Hello Charlie."

A man with dark brown hair and Charlie's almost sickeningly charming smiled, leaned lazily against the doorframe. "Hello Daughter."

Bernard blinked. "Daughter?" He demanded of Noel. "You said your parents were—"

"They _are_ dead." She said icily.

Charlie smirked. "True, I'm more of a surrogate father. But I would never have gotten to be where I am today if not for your dad, so I like to think of myself as an important figure in your life. Remember, Noel, I took you in when no one else wanted you." 

"Only because you killed everyone who did!" She spat back. 

Charlie shrugged. "I spared you, didn't I? It broke my heart when you ran away…" He didn't look overly upset about it.

Noel laughed bitterly. "You have to _have_ a heart in order for it to break, so I'd say we're both fairly safe from that."

Charlie chuckled. Then he noticed the other three in the room. "Bernard!" He smiled. "I want you to know, I really will miss you after you die. And Carol and Dad, I want to say I think you've done a remarkable job raising me. I've turned out excellent… But back to business. Noel, you need to come home now."

"Wait a minute, let me think… No, I don't think I will..." Noel decided vaguely.

Charlie sighed and took a step toward her, but she vanished, as all elves could. This only amused the man. "Let's not play games, Noel. You know you can never win." 

Noel reappeared behind him and looked like she was about to perform a spell or something to that effect, but Charlie spun around and grabbed her wrist. 

"Charlie!" Bernard shouted. "What happened to you? Why are you so—"

"Mean? Evil? Demonic? I'm sure Noel has already told you. And I really don't have any more time for talking. Goodbye." And with that, Charlie disappeared, taking Noel with him. 

Bernard sighed. "Great. Now what?" Oddly, part of him cared Noel was gone.

A large part of him. 

A/N: Sorry for the delay, I'll try to update more often again. %_%


	8. Genius

****

Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: ^_^ Glad you're not confused anymore!

A/N: Amanda, I'm going to get you a basket of rocks for Christmas, okay?

Noel: NO A/N'S! BACK TO THE STORY! DON'T JUST LEAVE ME—

Phobic: No one cares Noel…

Chapter 8: Curtis the Genius Except Somehow—Not 

__

Well Charlie in my time lived in this—this mansion in the human world. It's the largest thing around for miles. You can't miss it. He told me one time that that is where he was kept when he was young. That has to be where Charlie is now…

Bernard sighed in frustration. "She never said where it was! She said it's the largest thing for miles, but she never said where it was! There are a lot of miles in the world in case she hasn't noticed. How are we supposed to find—Charlie." He ranted.

"We can't." Scott said grimly. "We can't find Charlie without Noel."

"Then let's go get Noel." Bernard suggested.

Carol turned to him. "And I assume you have some idea where she is?"

"Well how should I know? Do I look like Charlie to you?" He retorted more harshly than he'd intended. 

"Bernard!" Scott admonished. "I'm just as upset as you, but we need to stay calm if we're going to find Noel."

"And how exactly will that help anything?" Demanded Bernard. "It's completely hopeless!"

Scott glared at him. "You're not helping."

"Neither are you." The elf countered.

"You're not helping more." Came Curtis' voice.

Bernard glared at him. "Why does everyone insist on sneaking up on me?"

"Curtis, you're supposed to be in the medical wing." Carol said heavily.

It was only then that Bernard noticed a large gash across the other elf's face. He winced. 

Curtis sighed, and said, "Yes, and I would love nothing more than to be there, I assure you. But as the three of you can't get anything done without me, I figured I should come." 

"We're perfectly capable of getting on without your help, Number 2." Bernard said less harshly than he'd been before.

"How do _you_ plan to save Noel from almost certain death then?" The younger elf challenged. 

Bernard was silent. "You have an idea?"

Curtis smirked. "It's a bit sketchy, but it's better than what you've got, which is absolutely nothing."

"Well?" Bernard demanded impatiently. "Are you going to tell us or just stand there like some arrogant—"

"Okay. Noel is from the future, no?" Curtis ignored the other elf.

Bernard fixed him with a surprised look. "How long have you been standing there anyway?"

Curtis shrugged. "A while. But back to what's important. She said the humans are blowing everything up in the war, right? Right. But she talked about the house as though it was still there. She said you can't miss it so not even _Bernard_ would have _that_ much trouble finding it. So what we have to do, is send someone to the future, to get Noel and bring her back so we can find Charlie."

"Yeah," agreed Bernard, deciding to ignore the insult. "There's only one problem, Curtis."

"What?" 

"Have you ever heard of anything in this time that can send someone to the future?" Bernard inquired.

Curtis was quiet.

Scott, however, seemed thoughtful. "I have."

A/N: Two chapters in one day! Be afraid…


	9. Twit

****

Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: Yes, yes, Bernard is up to his pointy ears in denial about Noel, but that's okay; we love his pointy ears. ^_^ Sorry, that was random. 

Sanely Challenged: Three chapters in ONE day? Oh, my brain hurts. *_* Nice to know you like it though! ^_^

GriffinFox: Thanks. I am surprised someone cares about Noel… are you feeling all right? ^_^

Chapter 9: Twit

Father Time sighed. "You know, this is strictly against the rules. I could get in a lot of trouble if I agreed.

"Trouble? With Who? You're Father Time!" Scott questioned. 

The legendary figure was stumped. "Well I don't really know. I've never broken a rule before…"

"Well there's a first time for everything." Bernard waved off Father Time's concerns impatiently. "Now will you save all the elves from being massacred or not?"

"You know, just because Noel isn't here doesn't mean you have to take up her role as the annoying twit that everyone dearly wants to strangle." Curtis reminded him.

"Twit? I _know_ you're not calling _me_ a twit, Number Two, because if you _were_ calling me a twit you _know_ I would—"

Curtis cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I really think we should get back to finding Noel now." He abruptly changed the subject, and Bernard momentarily forgot his threat.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. If the counsel of legendary figures _ever_ found out—" Father Time began, but was promptly interrupted.

"What the counsel of legendary figures doesn't know won't hurt them." Bernard insisted. "And even if by some remote chance they _did_ find out, I think they would understand, what with the impending doom and all."

When Father Time still didn't look convinced, Bernard forced his features into what he hoped resembled a patient smile and spoke calmly. "Look, the only ones that will ever know are the five of us. I'm not going to tell anyone. Curtis isn't going to tell anyone. I doubt Mr. And Mrs. Clause would bring it up at a meeting. No one will ever know, okay? Now can we please do this before some unnamed elf strangles someone?" He finished on a slightly more impatient note.

Father Time sighed again. He seemed to do that a lot. "All right. But it was your idea!" He said to Bernard.

The elf smirked. "Oh no it wasn't. I've got plausible deniability. The whole plan belongs to Curtis."

"You won't be saying that after it works." Curtis grumbled. 

"Can we concentrate on Noel here?" Bernard demanded.

Carol smiled oddly at Bernard. "Who will go after her?"

The elf looked around suspiciously. "Oh no. Not me, you've got to be kidding."

Santa smirked. "You're the only one Bernard. Christmas is coming shortly and I'm needed here. And besides, aren't you always saying that Curtis doesn't do things right?" 

"Yeah," Curtis agreed. "I remember him saying something like that once or twice."

"Every three seconds." Carol added helpfully.

Bernard was sure that his face looked something like it had when he'd first seen Curtis' toy Santa last year. "Fine! I'll go all right? But Curtis, there's yet another hole in your scheme. The house, I know it's big, but I also know that you can't see a house from half way around the world. You just can't; I don't care how big it is. What do I do? Just teleport around the future at random until I see a big house?" 

Curtis grinned. "Sounds good to me." At Scott's look he added hastily, "I mean, we had one of the elves look into it and he narrowed it down to only six locations. I'm _sure_ you can handle just _six_ Bernard."

"I'm _sure_ you could close your mouth now if you tried _really_ hard, Curtis." The Head Elf retorted. He turned to Santa. "So I just go to each of these six places? Sounds simple enough." 

"Not exactly." Interjected Father Time hesitantly. "You see, it's very difficult to teleport in a time you aren't meant to be in. It's only been attempted eleven times before (all of which I had nothing to do with, I might add) and only six of them survived."

"Okay, that complicates things a bit." Scott said quietly. "Number One, you know I would never ask you to do anything that could endanger your life."

Bernard shook his head. "No. If I don't go then no one will. And then what will happen to Noel?"


	10. Black Dogs

****

Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: For some reason it's really fun to write about an impatient Bernard… I can't imagine why. 

Random Reviewer: I don't know why you would be reading this after your review, but if you are, here is my advice to you: Don't read this. If you already hate the plot, you won't end up liking it any more than you do now.

AngelicOne: Yes let's all gang up on Bernard! ^_^

Sanely Challenged: Yes, killing Bernard would make it slightly difficult to write a Bernard/Noel fic (not to mention I'd be strangled by a mob of screaming fans…), but you never know…

Criminally Insane: Let's play a game. Okay, I'll ask you a question and I want you to answer as honestly as you possibly can. All right. Who's still reviewing after I told them to go away?

Chapter 10: Giant Black Dogs That Will One-Day Rule the Earth… Maybe…

At Curtis' look Bernard hastily added, "Not like I care or anything. We need her to save Charlie…"

Curtis held up his hands defensively. "I'm not here to judge." He smirked cheekily.

"Well then Santa should fire you because that's the only thing you're any good at." The Head Elf shot back.

"Why are you snapping at us? It's not _our_ fault Noel got kidnapped!" Curtis demanded.

Bernard glared. "_Everything_ is your fault, Curtis. World hunger? That's your fault." 

"Back to Noel." Scott once again interrupted the bickering elves. "Can we just send him into the future while I'm still younger than him?" 

Father Time sighed. Was the man obsessed with sighing? "Very well." He said something in another language to an unprepared Bernard. There was a strange red light and he was gone.

Bernard landed hard on the ground. What had happened? He remembered something about Father Time and put together what must have happened. "That evil, sneaky—" Okay, perhaps it wasn't the best idea to curse a legendary figure out loud. 

When his vision had somewhat focused, the elf looked around wearily. No wonder it had hurt when he fell; there where rocks for miles. And he was next to what he assumed was one of the locations. He looked up at a house so large it made the workshop seem almost small in comparison. How was he supposed to find Noel in there? 

Bernard got up, but he was so dizzy he had to clutch onto the house for support. Apparently Father Time hadn't been kidding when he said it would be difficult to teleport here. He fell against the wall in exhaustion. He could hardly manage to stay conscious! How had Noel done managed to function moderately normally? She said she'd used some kind of dark spell, which he had not, so perhaps that made it easier. Or maybe she'd done this before…

He heard a clatter inside the house and jumped. There was barking. He sighed. Dogs, large ones by the sound of it, were noisily heading in what was unmistakably the direction of the door. Then he heard a woman yelling. Definitely not the right house. 

The elf shook his head to clear his vision, and succeeded in making it considerably worse. 

He closed his eyes for a while and when he opened them, two large, black dogs were about three feet from him. How had they gotten there without him noticing? He froze.

Thankfully for him, the woman came out behind the dogs. "Muffin! Cupcake!" She bellowed. "Get back here!"

The dogs looked as though they would dearly have loved to tear off Bernard's arms and legs, but reluctantly left. The elf was sure he'd never seen two things that looked less like a muffin and a cupcake. 

The woman was sturdily built, with grayish-brown hair and pale eyes that were so light they didn't seem to have a color. Her eyebrows slanted up, giving her a permanently grim expression. She looked about forty and wore a concerned expression as she looked down at Bernard who hadn't moved from the ground. "I hope they didn't hurt you. They really are sweet once you get to know them… Who are you, by the way?"

"Bernard…" the elf said slowly, not looking up from the two dogs. 

She laughed. "Well Bernard, why don't you come in? You look like you haven't eaten in days!" 

Bernard was tempted to comment that he didn't look starved unless she was comparing him to herself, but decided against it. "I really can't at the moment, I'm rather busy—"

She waved her hand. "If you're so busy then what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?" 

"I got lost?" It wouldn't do to let her know he was an elf and he'd come here to stop the son of his boss from kidnapping a girl that he needed to save said son of boss. That might be somewhat unbelievable. And confusing… 

The woman gave him a doubtful look. "It's not often that I get a visitor." She said sadly. 

"You have dogs." Bernard reminded her.

"Oh don't worry! They don't bite." She insisted.

The dogs' expressions did not put the elf's fears to rest. 

"I… can't… I'm allergic to dogs." He lied unconvincingly.

She sighed. "Oh I know I'm a bit old fashion with real dogs and computers and such. I even have a DVD Player still! My mother passed it down to me… Kids nowadays… They only like the games on their—what are they called—R-Cubes? Something like that, and they have no patience for good old fashion MP3 Players and cell phones… but I'm babbling. Please come in for a few minutes."

With all the strength he could muster, Bernard concentrated on teleporting to one of the other locations. 

Immediately he wished he hadn't. 

After another crash landing on a cold, marble floor, the elf looked around him. "Hello Charlie."

A/N: Thanks to all the people with nice reviews! 

And Happy Birthday to valanna! You're the best! ^_^


	11. Jack

****

Dark Prospects

Tragedy Ann: Thanks! Yes well as Curtis isn't actually mine, I suppose you may borrow him… ^_^ 

AngelicOne: Yeah my friend and I were saying that a while ago. They'll be saying, "DVD? What was that, some kind of soup?" -_-

Sanely Challenged: Yes, please update! I love your fic! And I understand; the thought of being strangled by a group of Bernard fans doesn't sound appealing…

GriffinFox: Sorry about the cliffhanger. Couldn't help it. ^_^

Criminally Insane: Very good, Amanda! Go get the cookie!

Chapter 11: Jack

The man studied him for a moment and then laughed. "Hello Bernard. Couldn't stay away from her, could you?"

Bernard would have protested, but Charlie continued, "I have to say, I admire your persistence. You really want to see her? All right, I'll take you to her. Follow me." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. 

Bernard followed. He didn't trust Charlie nay more than those black, killer dogs, but there really wasn't any remote chance of him escaping form the other, finding Noel, and getting out alive.

The two walked down an agonizingly long hall in silence until they reached a small room with a stone door that seemed to take up an entire wall. Bernard did _not_ like the look of it. Charlie placed his thumb on the door handle and it opened. The room was so dark he could hardly make out the figure of a pale girl standing in one corner. 

"Noel?" He asked, but the darkness in the room was almost suffocating and his voice was lost in the air itself. 

Charlie smiled. "Well, I hope the two of you are very… happy together." He shoved the elf into the room and shut the door with startling speed. 

Just as the elf was about to curse horribly, the lights came on and he was able to see Noel.

She smiled brightly. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here!"

He stared. Was she on steroids? "Are you… feeling okay, Noel?"

She didn't seem concerned by the fact that she was in even worse condition than when they'd first met. Her eye was purple and swollen and her lip was bleeding. "I'm feeling great! I want you to know, you're my very best friend in the world!" She went on with sickening cheer. "What's your name again?"

"It was Bernard the last time I checked, but it might have changed…" 

Noel frowned. "That's a long name. You need a new one. From now on, I shall call you Jack."

Bernard raised an eyebrow. "Right… Whatever, right now we need to get out of here." He surveyed the walls, looking for any sign of a crack or an unstable board. No such luck. 

"Okay!" She agreed. The girl stumbled over to him shakily and ended up falling onto him and then giggling madly as he caught her awkwardly. "Oops! Sorry, Jack."

Bernard set her carefully down on the floor and fell to his knees next to her. "Noel, does anyone ever come in here?" 

She smiled. "Well, there's Bob, the food guy, and Fishy, the water guy, and Turtle Hat, the guy with the yellow kitties…" 

Bernard wasn't sure that the girl's information was entirely accurate, but she was the only living thing he could talk to, so she would have to do. "When do they come?" He asked patiently. 

Noel suddenly burst into song. "Oh when the ants come marching in—"

"Noel!"

"Jack!"

Bernard sighed and tried a different approach. "Okay Noel, let's play a game."

"Ooh! I love games!" She declared.

"Good. Now let's just… _pretend_, that Bob, Fish, and Turtle are trying to kill us." Bernard said slowly.

"It's _Fishy _and Turtle _Hat_!"

"Whatever. Let's pretend that when they come in they're going to attack us, okay? What do we need to do?" Bernard forced himself to be patient with the delusional girl.

Her eyes became large. "We got to attack them first."

He nodded. "Very good. Now can you tell me when they come in, so we can attack them and win the game?"

Again, she started singing. "Three o'clock in the morning—"

"Wait! Noel, when do they come? You want to win, don't you?"

She nodded. "They all come at five o'clock. Five, five, five, five—"

He let her chirp on merrily and wondered what time it was. But, as if to prove that this day couldn't get any worse, he heard footsteps approaching and realized that this entire, painstaking process hadn't been necessary. 

The door creaked open, but he didn't give whoever it was any time to say anything. He shoved the door all the way open, but just stared blankly at the man who'd opened it. He was short. Shorter that any elf he'd ever seen, and had a strange mustache, which seemed to spread all the way to his ears. 

He momentarily forgot his plan of knocking the other unconscious and spoke. "Bob the food guy?"

The short man snickered. "Turtle Hat, the guy with the yellow kitties. And you are…?"

"Jack." Bernard supplied offhandedly. "I don't see any yellow cats."

The funny little man smiled. "I don't have any. The elf—" he cut himself off. "Well she imagines things."

"Why?" Bernard prompted. 

Turtle Hat looked troubled. "Well, I'm not sure on the details, but Mr. Charlie gave her some kind of shot when she kept shouting at him. Ever since then, she's acted so weird…" 

Great. Charlie had given her some kind of drug. How was he supposed to get her out of here now?

"Look, Turtle Hat? I really need you to let us out of here, okay?" 

The man grinned. "Sure."

Bernard raised an eyebrow. "What? Just like that?" 

Turtle Hat shrugged. "Why not? I don't really care for Charlie anyway…"

"Great, thanks." Bernard grabbed Noel's wrist and led her out of the room. 

"Where are we going, Jack?" She said, with a melancholy expression.

Bernard winced at the name. "We're going to magical, far away place where it never rains and everyone lives in peace." 

"Oh, okay."

Suddenly an alarm went off and the two froze. 

Noel looked around as a loud beeping echoed off the walls. "I hear birds."

A/N: Okay, Noel is not insane. She's just drugged. She'll get over it and be somewhat normal again… maybe… 


	12. Party!

****

Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: Yes, Jack/Bernard is having a terrible, horrible, no-good, really bad, day. And this is me laughing! Hahaha— *men in white suits carry Phobic away*

Sanely Challenged: Interesting idea… I'll have to consider that… ^_^

TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan: Thanks for reviewing six times! I knew the guy from Raymond played Father Time, but I didn't know he was in SC1… ^_^ Yes, Noel is so funny to write when she's drugged!

GriffinFox: Everyone seems to like Noel all drugged up for some reason. ^_^

Criminally Insane: Wow. A nice review, are you feeling okay? You haven't been around Noel, have you?

Chapter 12: Party!

Bernard roughly pulled Noel behind a large statue of a gargoyle. Why did all big houses have statues of gargoyles? Was there some strange club for tycoons with gargoyles? 

Noel protested weakly. "I don't like this animal Jack. It looks mean." 

Sucked dry of patience, Bernard placed his hand over her mouth so she couldn't talk. But this turned out to be a bad idea, as she let out a strange sort of high-pitched noise that echoed off the walls loudly. 

Bernard let go of her to see if they'd drawn any attention to themselves. Noel giggled and ran a short distance from him before crashing to the ground and laughing again. "Help me up, Jack! I can't get up myself!" 

She didn't see the two distinctly evil-looking men behind her. Bernard stepped out into the space between her and the men. "Is one of you Bob the food guy?" Something possessed him to ask. 

One of them narrowed his eyes. "I'm Bob the food guy. And you must be Jack. Turtle told us a lot about you."

Noel pouted. "It's Turtle _Hat_!" 

Bernard cursed inwardly. He should have known not to trust someone with the name "Turtle Hat". He knew he had a better chance of convincing Santa to give everyone live elephants one year than beating these to sturdy-looking men in combat, so he summoned his strength and grabbed Noel's arm. 

Unfortunately, he hadn't fully recovered from his trip here, so he only got them into another hallway. He glanced around, but couldn't remember being here before. They were lost. 

Noel was cracking up beside him. "That was so fun, Jack! Can we find some more guys?" 

"Do you know how to get out of here?" He asked, ignoring her question. 

"Do you know the muffin man? The—"

She stopped singing when Charlie swaggered up to the pair. She grinned. "Charlie! I want you to know, I'm in love with Jack!"

Bernard stared at her. What had she just…? No, she was drugged. She imagined yellow cats. She didn't know what she was saying…

He turned to Charlie and grinned. "Charlie! You know we were just looking for you. I think we should have a party." 

Charlie smiled. "The party sounds nice, but the "we" part really has to go. You see," He walked over to Bernard past a hopping Noel, "you are just too nosy for your own good. Now if you'd just left her here with me, you could be alive for the moment and happy…" 

Charlie continued, but Bernard wasn't listening. He remained on the ground fighting a splitting headache while attempting to come up with a plan. Teleporting was out. He'd used the last of his energy getting them here. The farthest he would be able to take them was a few feet away. There was no hope of matching the power Charlie quite obviously had. What could he do?

Noel's singing voice interrupted his thoughts. "Frosty, the anteater—"

"Will you stop that incessant singing?" Demanded Charlie.

Noel regarded him seriously. "I think somebody needs some quiet time."

Another man entered the room and looked inquisitively at Charlie. "What's this, a party?"

"Yes! Yes, a party!" Bernard agreed. "Drinks all around!"

The two men gave him a look, which clearly conveyed that there would be no drinks today. 

And Noel kept singing. "Rockin' around the Christmas beaver…"

It was like some really cheesy horror movie.

A/N: Sorry this wasn't up sooner, but my math teacher is bent on my destruction. _


	13. Sheep

****

Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: Well people do odd things on drugs. We won't hold it against her. Actually I'm lying. She's going to here about Christmas Beavers until the day she dies. ^_^

Sanely Challenged: I certainly won't call math teachers people! Yes, Christmas beavers may one day take over the earth, so it's good you like them… *_*

GriffinFox: It was strange to write him saying that line… But it was so fun! ^_^ Thanks! In my opinion, anteater is so much more Christmas-like than snowman, don't you think? Lol.

Akiko, Keeper of Sheep: Run Bernard! Run! ^_^ I support your decision to chase Bernard, but please don't kill him just yet as he still needs to suffer through the rest of my fic. 

Criminally Insane: Sure. Bridget said it made her cry, and since you're such a sap for LotR, you'll be a blubbering ball of jelly and they'll have to scrape you off the floor. ^_^

Chapter 13: Sheep

Noel kept singing. "Here come rabid squirrels, here come rabid squirrels, right down Rabid Squirrels Lane—" She suddenly stopped and looked at Charlie. "Can I call you Daniel?"

"No," Charlie responded coldly.

"Danny?"

"No." 

"Dan-The-Man?"

"No!"

She pouted. "Can I call you Larry?"

Charlie ignored her. "Well Bernard, since you're so obsessed with Noel, you may join in her… fun."

Before the words had even sunken in, Bernard felt something poke through his skin. He realized belatedly that it had been a needle and that any moment now he would lose all his sanity and start singing about rabid squirrels. 

He pulled away before Bob the food guy had finished giving him whatever drug was in the needle, so maybe it would not make him quite as crazy as Noel… He considered his options miserably. He could stay here and lose his mind, but the idea of thinking up names like "Turtle Hat" scared him. Another option would be to try and teleport, but that would probably only take him a few inches away, if anything. And with Noel, the idea was ludicrous.

Perhaps it was the drugs taking effect, but in a fit of madness, Bernard got to his feet dizzily. He tried to focus on something, but when that failed, he dove for Noel and telported.

Only expecting to enter another room at the most, Bernard was surprised (to say the least) when he opened his eyes to find he and Noel staring up at Santa and Mrs. Clause.

Noel giggled. "That was fun, Jack! Let's go again! Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell Jack—"

Scott stared. "What happened to her?"

Bernard regarded him seriously. "I see vibrating sheep." 

And then there was black.

A/N: Thanks to Akiko, Keeper of Sheep for the brilliant sheep idea. And note I still have the flu so this might not be the best chapter of the fic.


	14. Poll

****

Poll

Ok, I have a problem. My cousin has this crazy idea to drag my sick butt to California the day after Christmas and I have to go or she'll kill me. So, should I finish up this fic in about 4 chapters or leave you all waiting for two weeks? 

Sorry,

Sky


	15. Drugged Elves

****

Dark Prospects

A/N: I don't know what I was smoking when I wrote this, but I wish I could find some more. ^_^ Really, this chapter is strange (I had a fever when I was writing it), but it's gets serious (er) later. Remember Bernard is still drugged up now…

GriffinFox: I'm sensing that you feel some anger towards Charlie. Make sure you don't bottle up your feelings… 

Mr. Charlie: WHAT? BOTTLE UP… ARE YOU CRAZY? I'LL BE KILLED!

In reply to your other reviews, I had intended to make this fic longer than four more chapters and it might not be as good if I'm rushed…

AngelicOne: Thanks. Who couldn't love vibrating sheep? ^_^

Criminally Insane: As much as you know I… _love_ pointy needles, I don't think I'm **that **sick just yet. 

Chapter 14: Phobic Was Drugged When She Wrote This

When Bernard opened his eyes, he saw fluorescent lights. A large quilt with patterns that looked oddly like sheep was draped over him. Vibrating Sheep of Death! 

The elf shook his head. No, they weren't sheep. They were clouds. He had to concentrate if he was going to… Wait, what was he planning to do? All his thoughts were blurring together. Where was everyone anyway? 

But then, who was supposed to be here? Where _was_ here? Why did he keep thinking of sheep? 

Curtis stared at the Head Elf through the window of the infirmary. He leaned over to Scott and asked worriedly. "You're sure that's Bernard? Because I think that's a possessed goat in a eerily accurate Bernard costume."

Scott had decided to give both Bernard and Noel some time to rest and/or regain some of their sanity and dignity. Or maybe just the sanity part.

Scott gave him a look. "A possessed goat?"

"Hey! It's better than his vibrating sheep!" Curtis defended himself.

"Yes, but Bernard isn't exactly himself right now. You are perfectly normal and you think of things like possessed goats." Scott argued.

Curtis scowled. "So back to my question…"

"Definitely Bernard. No costume is that good. And Noel is acting just as strangely, so something must have happened to both of them." 

Curtis pouted. "I don't _care_ if she's his girlfriend. The next time Noel needs saving, _I'm_ going to get her."

Scott laughed. 

As if on cue, Noel bounced into the room. "What are _your_ names? My name is Spork!" 

Curtis snickered. 

Noel thought (or posed in a way that could have been mistaken for thoughtful) for a moment. "I shall call you Lawnmower and Rachel." She decided finally. 

Scott and Curtis exchanged glances. Curtis said seriously, "I call 'Lawnmower'. You can be 'Rachel'." 

Noel started singing and strode into the infirmary before Scott or Curtis could stop her. "Here come the squirrels, all dressed in… cheese!" She caught sight of Bernard. "Jack! Hi, my name is Spork. But since I love you so much, you may call me Paperclip!"

Bernard stared at her blankly. He knew there was something he was supposed to be doing, but for the life of him he couldn't remember it…

Oh well…

"Hello Paperclip. You're really beautiful for a paperclip." 

Noel smiled. "Jack, that's so sweet of you!"

A/N: Anyone scared yet? Yeah, me too, just checking. ^_^


	16. Father Time

****

Dark Prospects

A/N: Okay, finishing the story is no longer a problem because I'm smuggling my laptop to California with me. ^_^

BlueFlame: See the a/n and thanks for reviewing!

AngelicOne: Sorry about your story, but someone could report you for doing something perfectly innocent like an author's note (which is technically against the rules…). Glad this made you laugh.

GriffinFox: I agree that Charlie is sometimes exceptionally whiny, especially in SC2 (in the first one it's excusable since he's a little kid). Drugged elves are so fun!

isadora quagmire: Younger sisters? My older brother used to act like that (and he'll kill me for telling you when he reads this…) ^_^

Priestess of Anubis: Thanks! Nice to know people actually like this… maybe I won't kill my best friend for making me post it. 

Vixie: Thanks, but Bernard? Eat you? I really don't think he would— *Bernard eats Phobic* 

DragonCat: See the a/n. Thanks for reviewing though…

Sanely Challenged: You're writing a book? What's it about? Are you going to get it published? If you do, please tell me the title so I can buy it. ^_^

Akiko, Keeper of Sheep: Yes, it's all about the sheep… poor Bernard…

Chapter 15: Father Time

Bernard woke up in a haze. He looked around and noticed Santa and Curtis standing over another elf. Noel. 

He glanced at her and unconvincingly disguised his laughter in a false cough. She was twisted in an odd position that would have made for excellent blackmail had he carried a camera. 

Curtis looked at him. "Oh great, you're up!" He said brightly. "_You_ can get her up and go save Charlie, now." 

Bernard rubbed his throbbing temples. "Is she normal? I mean—as normal as she gets…"

Curtis smirked cheekily and mimicked in a squeaky voice, "You're really beautiful for a paperclip." He fluttered his eyelashes rapidly for effect.

The look Bernard gave him should have killed him, buried him, dug him up, and killed him again. "Don't forget your place Number _Two_." But he'd already revealed the fact that he was overly sensitive about the subject and inwardly grimaced. 

Santa spoke up before Bernard strangled Curtis with one of his vibrating sheep. "Her drug dosage was high, but I think Noel should be somewhat better now. Though she may imagine things from time to time." 

Noel opened her eyes and quickly pulled her small form up from the somewhat embarrassing position she'd been in. "Are we going to get Charlie or what?"

Bernard stared. Clearly she remembered nothing of being drugged and he wished desperately for a similar fate as Curtis smirked.

"Yeah we're going." Bernard said. He got up and began to leave the room. "Come on, let's go find that evil madman."

Santa furrowed his brow. "You mean Father Time?"

"That's the one." Bernard responded. "Do you know another evil madman? Come on, Spork." 

Noel stared. "_What_ did you just call me?" She demanded.

Bernard kept an amazingly straight face. "I called you Noel." _Because 'Noel' sounds _so_ much like 'Spork'._

Noel shook her head and looked as though she was caught between suspicion and confusion. She began to follow him out, but stopped short and asked. "Bernard? Why are we in an infirmary?"

Bernard smirked. "For no apparent reason, Noel." 

Bernard stared at Father Time suspiciously while he and Noel were preparing to leave. They meant to go two days back in time (the amount of time it had taken to rescue Noel from almost certain death) and save Charlie before he was too… different. 

Noel still didn't understand what had taken up two days and was rather short with Bernard because of it. The Head Elf (already annoyed by the fact that Father Time would be involved) was in no mood for it. 

He was just about to duct tape her mouth shut when she smiled broadly. "Jack! I love you!" And with that, she threw her arms around him, momentarily diverting his attention. 

So naturally, it follows that Father Time would choose that very moment to send them back. 

Bernard and Noel landed somewhere very hard and the former ranted. "That sneaky, old psychopath! He's trying to kill me!"

A/N: Poor Bernard. Who would have thought Father Time could be so evil? ^_^ 


	17. Weasels

**Dark Prospects**

GriffinFox: Yeah, let's all sneak attack Father Time. He'll never see it coming...

AngelicOne: Who wouldn't want to divert Bernard's attention? I'll kill them! Actually I'd be happy; more chances for ME to divert his attention ^_^

solomonisevil: Thanks! Glad to be the first, but there are much better ones than mine on this site. ^_^

Criminally Insane: I miss you too and that was an unbelievably long run-on sentence, Amanda.

Chapter 16: Flesh-Eating Weasel

Bernard looked up at the sadly familiar house they had landed next to. 

Noel seemed to be moderately normal again, as she said, "Well, are we going in, or would you rather sit here like some—"

"Noel, shut up." Bernard said shortly. The girl scowled, but remained silent anyway. 

The pair of them got up. "So how are we supposed to get in?" Bernard wondered aloud. "I doubt they would respond well if we went up and knocked." 

Noel sighed. "I don't know. We could break in through one of the windows." She offered. 

"Because I'm sure they wouldn't hear _that." The other retorted._

"Do you have a better idea I should know about?" She demanded.

Bernard smirked. "When will you learn that I _always have a better idea?" _

She rolled her eyes. "Well?" 

"I could teleport us in." He said. Then a thought struck him. "Can you teleport? You should be able to, being an elf." 

Noel flushed slightly. "No, I'm only half elf and I didn't get that ability. Curtis said you've been doing a lot of teleporting lately, are you sure you can do it?" 

Bernard did a double take. Had she just been civil to him when she wasn't drugged? 

Noel seemed to be thinking the same thing as she was staring at him oddly. 

"I can." Bernard said finally. He grabbed onto her hand and teleported inside the giant house. 

They landed somewhat softly in a seemingly deserted room. The room was small and white, making Bernard think of an insane asylum. He figured he should get used to it, as he'd surely need one when this was all over. 

He was about to get up when he realized that Noel had his arm in a death-grip. She was staring, horror-struck. At a spot on the floor and when he followed her gaze he also stared. 

There was a weasel.

It was pure white except for one black leg and red eyes. It was large for a weasel and reminded Bernard of the tiny dog Mrs. Clause had gotten a few weeks ago. He wasn't fond of the dog and was sure the feeling was mutual. But he'd gotten yelled at by Mrs. Clause for locking it in a cupboard and blaming it on Curtis, so he tried to tolerate it.

Noel was frozen in terror. "Bernard, it's a weasel. I hate weasels. Get it!" Her voice grew more panicked towards the end. 

Bernard laughed in surprise. "You're not scared of it, are you?" 

"_Please_ get rid of it!" Her grip on his arm tightened.

Still chuckling, Bernard walked over to the weasel (after reluctantly removing Noel's hand from his arm). 

Then, without warning, it attacked him. He tried to remove it from his hand, but it was startlingly quick on its feet. After a few seconds, he managed to kick it off him and luckily it scampered off, but not before it had taken a bite out of his hand. 

The elf winced and rubbed his thumb gingerly as it bled. It wasn't life-threatening, but flesh-eating weasels were the last thing he needed right now. 

Noel came over to him. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly. She must have really been shaken up over that whole weasel thing, because that was definitely concern in her voice. 

Bernard was about to answer her when he noticed something. He stared.

Just outside the open door there was an army of flesh-eating weasels.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long I had to drive for 19 hours two days ago (I don't trust my cousin driving) and I'm exhausted. Also, if  I don't update for over two weeks it means my cousin was driving the car and I'm critically injured or dead, so don't shoot me (it will kind of be redundant if I'm already dead). 


	18. Finding Charlie

****

Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: Father Time? But that would be so mean... He's just a poor, old man... let's set his hair on fire. ^_^

AngelicOne: Thanks. Yeah, it's only a matter of time... unless one of them dies of an incurable disease... 

Sanely Challenged: Yes, please do email me what you have done, that would be great! It sounds really good. ^_^ I know what you mean; I tried to a book once and got bothered with it somewhere in the prologue... I think it says my email in my bio. 

TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan: Thanks! Yes, Jack inspired the drinks comment it was just so funny! ^_^ And of course I'm trying to give you nightmares! Otherwise, what is the point of my existence?

Criminally Insane: Thanks, I love you too (that was sarcasm, if you didn't pick up on that). Actually I'm having a terrible time out here so you're not missing anything. Remember Kyle (Kassandra's brother)? We got in a fight and he shoved me down these four cement steps so I broke my leg. He was really nice to me after that though... But now my cousin has to drive us back so I'll probably be dead by the 7th. 

Chapter 17: Finding Charlie—Like Finding Nemo—Only With More Mental Cases

Once Noel had seen the weasels she ran very quickly in the other direction until she came to a wall which she stopped just short of running into. 

Bernard considered doing the same, but decided against it. It was like an army of Mrs. Clause's evil dog, Angelpuff (he had luckily managed to stop himself from commenting on the name of the monster when they'd been introduced). But at least the dog (while quite possibly bent on world domination) didn't eat flesh!

"You can beat them, Bernard!" Noel exclaimed. "You're a big, brave dog!" The second statement was more than half sarcasm, but that wasn't what bothered him. 

Ignoring the angry weasels, Bernard spun around to face her. "Not a dog. _Never_ a dog. _Never_!" 

Noel looked both surprised and confused. "Okay, you're a big, brave… weasel-eating cat?" 

Bernard shrugged. "Better." He focused back on the weasels, or, more accurately, where the weasels had gathered only moments before. Now they were gone and in their place was Curtis. 

He blinked. "Curtis?" 

Noel, regaining some of her courage, glared. "Not Curtis." 

The person that looked strangely like Curtis eyed her with deep animosity. "I could always call my weasels back in here. And I don't think any 'weasel-eating cat' will stop them." 

Bernard would have laughed, had the situation been less serious. "So why do you have an army of weasels in your house anyway, or am I still imagining things?" 

The person shrugged. "No you're not. Honestly, I'm not sure why I have them. I found one by the side of the road once and took it home. After that they just all flocked here, more than ready to carry out my commands. I'm really an animal lover. I have a zebra outside. Would you like to—" He suddenly shook his head. "Wait. You have to die, I forgot. Sorry." 

"You forget things a lot?" Noel stalled. They just needed to get the Curtis-like figure away from the door so they could escape, and the man talked quite a bit once you got him going. 

"Oh yes, all the time. The doctors said there's no cure so I had to get what's-his-name—Charlie—to come here so he could carry on for me with killing… you. You're getting me off the topic! You really need to be killed now." 

Bernard nodded. "Yeah… so when did the whole killing-elves thing start? I mean, things aren't just born with the desire to kill," if Angelpuff was discounted. 

The man stepped away from the door and was about to respond when both Bernard and Noel ran past him like Angelpuff himself was on their heels.

After a few seconds of running, Bernard heard the weasels behind them and noticed that Noel was actually running faster than him. For once he didn't have to slow his pace for fear of losing her. He made a mental note to get a weasel and stick it in one of her socks if they got out of this. It would be so fun to watch her get mad and yell at him for the next three hours. 

They ran through a large hall into the first room they could find and shut the door. When they were sure the weasels weren't going to rip the door off its hinges, they looked around. 

Charlie. 

The boy was riding a llama, of all things, and singing music, which sounded like a mixture of heavy metal and country. The two forms of music should never be put together.

The two elves exchanged glances and Noel said, "I think… I think being locked in a room with _Angelpuff_ might be better than this."

A/N: Don't kill me! I'll update more regularly now that I don't have a computer with _dial-up_ *shudders*. 


	19. Names

****

Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: I love your idea of what to do with Kyle! Thanks for the review. The llamas and zebras were just for you, glad you liked them! 

AngelicOne: Foreshadowing? Me? Why would you say that? That would be pretty bad if they survived so much evil just to die of an incurable head cold or something… foreshadowing…

Sanely Challenged: I don't think anyone normally sings heavy metal/country music. If they do that scares me beyond all reason. I can't wait to read your story! ^_^

solomonisevil: Yay! I'm very happy to be your favorite! And I agree, llamas rule!

Criminally Insane: I appreciate your concern, my friend, but if I gave you Kyle's address it would be just as bad as killing him and I'd feel guilty for getting you in jail. Sort of… No, I'm joking you know I love you. ^_^

Chapter 18: Names

Bernard could hear the weasels scratching at the door behind him. He wished—for the first time in his life he could think of—he had one hundred tons of acid to pour on the evil monsters. On second thought, there had been one other time he'd had this wish, but he'd been desperate then. 

"Um… Charlie?" Noel tried weakly. 

The boy turned to her. He was quite obviously under some time of drug, which partially explained why he was so demented in the future. Charlie's eyes were glazed over and he grinned at them. "Bernard!" He almost fell off the llama in laughter. 

Bernard stared at him incredulously. "Why does everyone do that?"

"Do what?" asked Noel.

"Shout my name." Replied the Head Elf. "Always people are shouting my name to greet me. All my life. It's really annoying."

For the first time since they met, Noel laughed. Not in a cruel or mocking way, she just laughed. "Your name is very good for shouting. Like 'Noel' doesn't sound right. You wouldn't come up to me and go 'Noel!', would you?" 

"Well, no. But that's because—" 

"See? And you wouldn't go up to Santa and say, 'Santa Clause!', right?" Noel continued. "His name is too authoritative for that. And mine is too… delicate." 

Bernard glared at her pointedly. "Great. You get a 'delicate' name, The Big Guy gets an 'authoritative' name, and I get a name that's good for shouting." He said dryly. 

Noel smiled. "Well you wouldn't want to be named 'Noel', would you? Besides… I like your name." 

Bernard had been about to retort when her last words caught him off guard. He blinked. She was staring up at him strangely again… 

Charlie fell off his llama, drawing Bernard's attention back to the moment at hand. "We better get going." He said quickly. "That Curtis-reject will be back here in a minute." 

Noel turned swiftly to Charlie. "Right. Charlie? Can you walk at all?"

Charlie scowled indignantly and picked himself up from the floor. "Yes I can! I'm going to call you—"

"It's Spork." Noel shook her head, confused. "I mean… Noel…" 

Bernard smirked, but said nothing. 

"Can you get us out of here?" Noel asked Bernard. 

Bernard thought. "Not in this room. I need to concentrate hard to teleport three at once. The llama will distract me." 

Noel stared. "And you think three hundred flesh-eating weasels will help you concentrate better? At least the llama isn't trying to kill you!"

They both turned as they heard what was unmistakably the Curtis-reject's voice. "Resistance is futile. The weasels are on MY side!" 

"Probably not." Bernard agreed. Then a thought struck him. "I have an idea. But I may not come back alive." 

"What?" Noel demanded worriedly. "You scare me when you say that! You've probably got some hair-brained scheme that—"

Bernard interrupted her tirade. "Probably. But I'm the one with an idea so that's what we'll do. I'm going to join forces with the weasels." 

Noel said nothing. She just stared at him as though he'd grown an extra head.

"It's not as bad as it sounds." He insisted. "Elves have limited telepathic abilities. I can enter their minds and convince them to join us." 

Noel finally found her voice. "You know you're going to die, right?" 

Bernard shrugged. "If I can survive Muffin and Cupcake, I can certainly survive this." 

Noel blinked. 

"Dogs… I'll explain later." He promised hastily.

Noel kissed him on the cheek. "Return." 

Bernard froze for a moment, but decided the growing weasel threat would have to come before Noel's odd behavior. It was probably just a side affect of the drugs anyway. 

He opened the door gravely and walked out to the army of weasels.

A/N: Well our hero is in a terrible position right now… but he'll get out of it. If I'm in a good mood tomorrow, that is… *maniacal laughter* 


	20. End

****

Dark Prospects

solomonisevil: I've given a lot of thought to the matter of whether or not the weasels will eat Bernard… Want some words of comfort? Sorry, I don't have any. ^_^

AngelicOne: Thanks! Just for that review, I'll try not to kill off Bernard (not that I would have anyway, for my own personal safety). 

Priestess of Anubis: *raises hands defensively* All right! No Bernard killing… yet…

GriffinFox: I would love to see those pictures! Can you email me with them or something? Please? I'm not above groveling. Oh, and you might want to get your wolves ready, just in case. 

Sanely Challenged: I love your story! You should finish it and get it published! I would be first in line to buy it. ^_^ I like Jackie, you shouldn't take him out. The thralls are really creative too. And thanks for the review! 

Criminally Insane: Sheesh! I'm updating, OK? If you really want to go to LotR again call Whitney over and we can go this Wednesday. 

Chapter 19: End

The weasels didn't move, seeming surprised that Bernard would willingly leave the room. The Curtis-like figure, whom Bernard decided to call George, for lack of a proper name, glared. 

"What do you think you're doing?" He demanded harshly. "You're supposed to be hiding in fear of your life!" 

Bernard glared back icily. He spoke to George, while telepathically trying to convince the weasels that he was a friend. "I've had to deal with a crazed, old man who is bent on my destruction, traveling to the future, a strange woman with killer dogs, a possessed future Charlie, a drugged elf, being drugged and imagining vibrating sheep of death, going back to the present, only to come here and meet an army of flesh-eating weasels, and all because of you. Do you really think for two seconds that I'm going to hide in fear of my life when I could be out here trying to destroy you?" He said aloud in an unbelievably long, run-on sentence. 

To the weasels, he said, _If you join me, I'll feed you Curtis when this is over. There's enough of him to last you a while. You can have Angelpuff too. If you stay with this madman you'll all starve to death! I promise to give you all the food you could ever wish for._ Of course he didn't mean this. If he fed them Curtis he would certainly be yelled at by Santa. But Angelpuff…

George blinked. "Well I'm really sorry, but I've joined this club on-line and to move up in ranks you have to kill off a type of elf." 

Bernard would have blinked stupidly if he had been listening, but he was occupied with the head weasel. The weasel had just agreed to a temporary truce with him. 

Bernard grinned and said, _Attack him!_

They obeyed immediately and turned on their former master. 

"W-what are you doing?" George stared at the weasels in shock. 

Bernard could hear the weasels snickering, which was a very odd experience that he did not care to repeat.

The wild weasels attacked George and Bernard went to get Noel. He opened the door to find her staring at Charlie who was sitting on the floor pointing at the llama and laughing hysterically. It was such good blackmail and there was Bernard without a camera! 

She looked up when he entered. "You're alive!" She exclaimed. 

Bernard said dryly. "Well what do you expect from a weasel-eating cat?" 

She smiled happily. "Then let's go back!" 

Bernard sighed. "Yes, I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Clause just can't wait to see Charlie." His voice was thick with sarcasm and, as if to prove his point, Charlie fell over in a dead faint. 

Noel laughed, but then looked at Bernard suggestively. "Actually, what's the rush? They can wait a few hours." With that she stole his hat and dashed out the door past the weasels and up a long set of stairs. 

Bernard ran after her, completely forgetting about Charlie. They ran for a while and when he caught up to her, they were in a large bedroom. 

"You know," she said, "this is a lot bigger than any room at the workshop. And a lot less… crowded…" 

Bernard hesitated. "We should leave… the weasels…" 

Noel nodded. "Yes, but don't you want your hat back?" 

Bernard smirked and closed the door behind him.

End

A/N: Well that's it except for the epilogue. I suck at writing love-scenes worse than I do at writing, so trust me you don't want me to continue. You'll just have to imagine the rest yourselves, sorry. I will try to post the epilogue today. 


	21. After the End

****

Epilogue

Father Time sat silently in his vermilion tinted office enjoying a nice cup of tea and reading _Little Women_ exactly two weeks after he'd been summoned to Santa Clause's workshop. The whole incident had g broken just about every rule he could think of and he didn't even want to think about what would happen if the counsel of legendary figures ever discovered it, so he took to distracting himself with books. 

There was a knock on the door, but he really didn't feel like getting up to answer it, so he simply said, "Come in." 

The door was opened and outside of it stood two elves. He immediately recognized them as Bernard and Noel. He had been amazed when the two had returned that the Head Elf hadn't tried to attack him, for he'd taken a sadistic pleasure in sending him back in time at the most inconvenient moments. But why were they here?

Bernard was the first to speak. "Hello, Father Time." He said politely. Then he snapped his fingers. 

Father Time stared as at least three hundred red-eyed weasels entered his office. "What—?" He began, but Noel cut him off.

"Merry Christmas." She said sweetly. 

Bernard closed the door.

Father Time stared around him. There were so many. 

So many red eyes…

^_^


End file.
